Lauren

This day is the day everyone who has ever loved Lauren says goodbye. At least 400 people are expected to turn up for the funeral. I wish i could personally be there but my heart will be there. My childhood would not have been the same without Lauren. All my memories of Lady Bankes have her in them. Most June and Bill memories also have Lauren in them! remember the good times down the manor football club! ONe memory that sticks to my mind is Tayla's birthday. Jumping castle with us on it. Starts to rain. Jumping Castle becomes way more fun! we are like 12 at this point! playing doctors and sleepovers on schoolnights! how much fun we had. Always smiling and being happy. You were loved by so many and are one of the only people that my my maltese family! Seventeen is way too young to leave this earth, so much to live for. There is obviously a reason and great plan for it or it is one of these tragic events that just happpen. Either way you will be sorely missed. if there is ever a Lady Bankes reunion you will always be apart of it! So my farewell to you Lauren is that i hope that this is not the end and that i will get to see you again! I do not know this for certain but all i can do is hope. My love is always with you and your family. Never will be forgotton.
love always anf forever
Love Sam
xoxoxoxox

today

how warm was it today? taste of summer, can not wait! so i was reading some other blogs and came across a post by James Mcpherson. " like Mark Batterson and expect his next book to be a beauty. Wild Goose Chase is out soon. Here's a cool excerpt:" ... Can I share a personal conviction? I think vision is the cure for sin. One reason many of us get entangled in sin is because we don't have enough God-ordained vision to keep us busy. "The more vision you have, the less you will sin. And the less vision you have, the more you will sin. It is a vision that keeps us playing offense spiritually. "Too often we try to stop sinning by not sinning. That is what psychologists call a double bind. It's sort of like saying, 'Be spontaneous'. You can't be spontaneous now that I've told you to be! The way to stop sinning is not by focusing on not sinning. The way to stop sinning is by getting a God-sized vision that consumes all your time and energy."
How spot on it that! i just thought that was awesome because it is so true. Ive found that in my life, if God gives you a vision theres nothing thats going to stop it! you see it among so many young people who fall or slip up on a regular basis, they don't see their future just the now and present time. Everyone knows the Ghandi quote " be the change that you want to see in the world" well how can you not practice what you preach? say you have a young knect of girls or guys and you tell them not to go here or do that yet you do the exact same thing! parents to this all to well. well its because im an adult or im this old so that is how they justify it. Im not a kid! well that certainly does not work! I've realise that im an example to the world. if Jesus lives in me which we all know that Jesus lives in everyone, than how can we behave and act like people who are consumed in the world's ways? we simply can not. This has been a revelation to me over the past couple of weeks. Although it might be obvious to some. this is what was getting to me but my mind and brain is crystal clear on a lot of things now! I know my future holds something pretty darn special within it! I know i will have the most amazing husband and love of my life ever. and my dream of changing and impacting the world will be more alive than ever! Everyone always wants to change the world, people need to realise you can change the world one person at a time! much more managble that way! Ive always heard these sayings and love them. Someone walking down the street thnks no one notices them and you smile on the way past. It could seriously make their day. Or paying for the next person in line's toll or coffee. a few dollars yet could get them believing that good people do exist. Today's world is so self abosorbed in their onw little world's. Just step out a little bit. Out of your comfort zone. Like Reggie said, you have to change your schedule to change a life!
So pumped for Empire tonight, Tim Hall. Know something great is going to happen! Let this weekend be absolutely amazing! Be Blessed

*sigh*

i can finally let out one big sigh and stop stressing and being angry as i think everything has been delt with! which is good. hopefully nothing will be weird. Lets hope this week will be awesome! Some of my thoughts at the moment.
why my dad cant talk to me like an adult is beyond me. kinda funny that he doesnt know how to communicate at me without shouting!
I really need to study this week........
I should finish the book im reading........
I need to txt some people and catch up with them this week.....
should spend time with me family.....
A lot of people within Churches and i think this is happening everywhere, its seems my generation have a warped view on christianity. I believe and attend church so im all good. Actually no. You can not act like a Christian when in church, we need to live breathe think feel and declare Jesus with everything we do. This unfortuantely is not happening with this age gap, im looking around and seeing this and it does sadden me. I think they need to be given a blunt message of this is how it needs to be. This might be why most of my friends are older!
some good stuff now
Ive met a couple of new people in the past few weeks and i love it! making new friends is totally amazing. just getting to know someone in itself is a journey.
i bought the dvd The azuza street project and its incredible, you can see and feel God throughout the entire documentary. really worth seeing! well there my thoughts for this evening. Hope everyone has the most amazing week!

mmm

"SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO CHANGE YOUR SCHEDULE SO GOD CAN CHANGE SOMEONES LIFE" awesome quote from Reggie last night!

Just thought id share how i am feeling at the moment
totally excited for the future God has in store
Cant wait to be married to the man God has for me and to have an amazing family
Excited for Watoto and me visiting Uganda and South africa. - A passion of mine
am awestruck on how God is working in my life totally incredible
No matter what comes my way i will power through it
My life belongs to Jesus. He gave up his life so that we may live, i think its only fair we give our whole lives to the cause of Christ.
I am ready for anything God sends my way
I am so strong at the moment,emotionally,spiritually and physically. nothing is holding me down.
I am so excited, nervous and challenged at me sharing my testimony, God has the perfect time for this, so im ready when he is!
A few of my passions:
Africa- always a dream and passion of mine. who knew God had placed it there since i was like 5!
Children-
All Animals- Dolphins in particular
Getting Jesus into the University of the Sunshine Coast
Young women- young teenage girls= My testimony
Christmas- Always has and always will be
Dancing- always has and always will be a passion of mine
much more but will update when God adds more!

Reggie

okay so who else thought Reggie Dabbs was absolutely incredible last night! people were crying all over the place which completely surprised me in the fact that i wasnt! proves something in itself if you ask me! He was incredible, you could see God working through him. Totally inspiring and awesome to see. young old in the middle whatever your age people were moved. God was totally working in ways unimagineable. Yesterday was such a good day, with everything going on i was still smiling and upbeat all day, church,lunch,church,coffee with some pretty cool convos in between! full of energy and that had to be God otherwise i would be a total mess. I can feel God holding me up though all of this because i am not letting satan come near me! this week i have assessment on so pray that i will go well! i only having 8 weeks of uni left until my first year is over. How scary is that! well i better go get ready for my human physiology and human anatomy labs! eek i actually should be at lectures this morning but im yet to go to them. hope everyone has a good week!
lots of love
Samantha Suzanne Hawkes

the week that past

i am so thankful for a new week! those close to me will know why! first off something that happened a month ago which i had delt with and moved on comes up and gets blown way out more than necessary. to have me crying hysterically and hyperventilating something had to happen! when people do not believe what you tell them because they have others about your behaviour and believe them over you, that really gets to me. I do not lie especially about the things that they think. When people think you are someone that you certainly are not also irritates me i should not have to prove myself to anyone. Only God. What happened needed to happen in my books. Since that night i am the woman God wanted and needed me to be. So people really need to get over everything and move on. I know God has called me to be a leader and i need to just be me on order to do that. I do not need to behave in a certain way because i already behave like that if if makes any sense! so now ive got that off my chest. I then find out one of my childhood best friends has passed away at 17. I last talk to her sunday and by Monday night she is brain dead. How does this happen? have no idea. I am not able to make it to her funeral so when that is happening i will be saying goodbye over here no matter what is going on. Lauren was a big part of my life and i will never forget her. and to top it all off im getting sick! talk about me being on fire for God or what. You see the devil knows i am such a threat to him that he will doo whatever it takes to budge me off my walk with God but thats not going to happen anymore! it might of in the past but no longer. I am ever so drivin that nothing is going to stop me from achieving what God has in store for me. I know who i am in God and the people that matter should know who i am and trust me enough to believe me and to not look down on me or judge me for one stupid night. This night has made me who God wants me to be and alot of people also believe this as they can see the change within me. I honestly pray for a couple of people who mean the world to me to also see this.

More hurdles!

just as things are totally amazing and going awesome, some stuff happens, always the way. I hadnt cried for like 3 weeks. record for me! and then i loose it in front of people. over something really pathetic. I do not lie and to have people not believe me really gets to me. I am one of the most trustworthy honest people you will find! i was really angry but God took that anger away and im doing better! Seriously Human Anatomy has to be one of the biggest and hardest subjects ever! I am just trusting God in every aspect of my life. I have set boundaries and need to be careful of the choices and decisions i make. People need to have a little more faith in people!