Challenges of palcement

My hospital placement has been so many things, excitement,challenging rewarding, sad, happy funny, the main thing that it has been is challenging. I am practising and expanding my medical skills and building my strength up each day, each patient brings me so much that it is hard to understand. There are alot of elderly people that are so lonely that they would happily talk to you for your entire shift. Meeting someone who is completely deaf, someone who is 90 or a patient who is terminally ill with prostate cancer. A 4 yr old or a tennager. all bring so much and each patient draws something out of me that i did not know existed. Seeing a 30 min old baby and cuddling a 4 day old and stir up so many feelings and emotions. I have been put through th ringer these past few weeks, and i know its only to build my strength up, talking to a patient for 5 mins can really brighten up their day. Bringing a little bit of light and joy to a ward is all worth the pain that it has caused me. It got me thinking that so many people are able to go to a hospital and sit talking to a patient for 30 mins. It would brighten up so many lives of the people that are stuck in the hospital in pain and bed bound. Just some of my thoughts that have crossed my mind.

Passions dreams and sacrifices

With exams nearly over i am left feeling unconfident in my results and believe i have most likely failed. This means i can not proceed to uni next year and i will have to repeat the 2 courses i have failed. This means adding a year to my degree which i do not want to do. However this would give me and oppurtunity to work and do Bible College part time, which will enable me to afford to go to Uganda and fulfill the dreams that God has planted in me. If this does happen then it is a small sacrifice to make in order for my purpose in life to be achieved. This situation has reminded me that it is God who is always in control and knows exactly what he is doing in every acpect of our lives. It is reassuring to know that God is always there in everyway. I go on placement in just over a week and am excited to be able to light up the lives of patients, i will be in the surgical ward which will be challenging.

Everyone says to try to be like Jesus, or live like Jesus. I believe i should live my life and be who i am. God created us all individuals and unique for a reason. We are whole in Jesus and become who we truly our in Jesus. We will never be Jesus that is the sole purpose why Jesus came. In Jesus we are saved. Christian means Little Christ not Christ. We can only be snippets of Jesus in someone's life. They need to know the one and only Jesus. Not everyone trying to be Jesus as this can never be achieved. and frankly this mind set will make way for a train wreck trying to happen as it is a standard that can never be achieved. We all make mistakes and by following Jesus and trying our best to live the way that he wants and fullfilling our purpose is what should be focused on. Not trying to live like Jesus.

Each day my confidence grows to share my testimony, each day i grow stronger and more strength that i already have. I know what God has in store for me, obviously not all of it but i know my future is going to big and each day is preparation. I can hear Jesus guiding me and teaching me in subtle ways. Puzzle pieces start to fit together and create the picture. My future is my passion which drives me forward, each day is a step closer to it. I have never been more certain of anything in my life. To be a missionary in Africa, lend medical help to woman men and children,share my testimony and see thousands come to God. To spread and share God's light and bring them to God's Kingdom. To take the darkest of the dark and bring them the the brightest lights thats ever shone and will shine.

The only thing i dont like is having to wait a few years! ive never been good at patience and thats ones thing that God continuely speaks into my life. Have patience. When i want something i want it now. Is the way ive always been. I know this time of waiting is to eqip me with the skills i need and prepare for what is to come. It will be challenging but being a servant of God is a calling you can not ignore and can only be the most rewarding thing someone can do.

2009

I truly believe that 2009 is going to be an amazing year, not just for me but for others everywhere. Ill be in my 2nd year of uni with a extremely hectic full time schedule, especially if i do Bible college thursday nights, ( might have to wait till i graduate before i can do it!) But everyday i get excited for the new year ahead, a fresh start and more goals to achieve. I plan on saving $5000 so i can be part of mobilise 1000 and go to Uganda in Jan 2010. SO excited for that. 2010 will be a big year as it will be my last year of my 1st degree and much more stuff that i can not yet reveal. My only source of income is babysitting and having no car for a week while it is getting fixed is not helpful but i always seem to have enough money and that is truly the work of God. I would still love to win the lottery so i could do many amzing things with it. If i am i ment to go to Uganda in just over a year, God will make it happen. God put Uganda in my heart for a reason.
I still can not believe it will be november in a few days, i am looking forward to having Empire on sunday nights, it will bring a whole new dynamic to it and leave fridays nights for other amazing things to happen! It will be good to see many more young adults there as there a plenty at church!
Just thought id share my excitement for the next few years ahead! although they will be hectic im sure they will be amazing!
just get pumped for 2009!

Children

I am seriously disgusted at the way society and today's culture treat children. The children today are much less innocent than they were Children are fully aware of what strangers can do to them, they know swear words from school, they know all about sex and drugs. Some even drink alcohol! im am talking about 5-10 year olds. The stories ive heard and things ive seen upset me greatly. I believe children should stay children for as long as possible. I only had 8 years of childhood and they were the best years ever. Why there are bras avaliable for 5 year olds is beyond me, high heels and knee high boots for this age range is just plain wrong.

As a student nurse and wanting to be a midwife we constantly want to save the lives of children, babies and even unborn babies and with the new legislation that is now approved for babies to be aborted in the 3rd trimester is extremely concerning. A baby can survive with neonatal care from as young as 20-22 weeks which is 5 months gestation. Abortions are now allowed to 24 weeks and longer if certain circumstances. This new law is justified by womens right to their bodies. When you become pregnant the right to your body belongs to that child not you. Women change their diet,sleep,excercise regime and the way they dress think and feel just to make sure that the baby is healthy. If you want the right to your body then protect your body from becoming pregnant, many of these women get pregnant whilst intoxicated. Sure there are circumstances that may be deemed necessary, but that baby deserves the right to fight for its life. Abortion is murder! I have seen the effects of still births and SIDs which is known as cot death. It is the most heartbreaking thing to see parents go through. They would give anything to bring their baby back, yet there are people intentionally killing there children you could be adopted. It goes against a mothers instinct to kill their unborn child. My entire life is dedicated to women and babies, and i find it extremely disturbing at how acceptable the world is becoming of many things that should never be acceptable.

Why should i know how to give a 12- 13 year old girl or boy a safe sex talk? its is just appalling that it is acceptable for 14-15year olds to be having sex and to be prepared for even 11 year olds to be! there is a reason why there are legal ages. There is a reason as to why people are growing up more and more messed up.

As Christians we must stand out and take a stand. We see the light, know the truth and are following the way of Jesus. It is so crucial for us to be out in society showing these children that there is a better and different way to live! Sure people will think we are wierd or strange but when they see how much better of we are they will begin to wonder why!

My birthday!

Tuesday 14th October was such a good and very busy day! totally exhausted! woke up at 6am, my parents came in at 6.55am singing happy birthday with my card and pressies, my uncle rang from england, got ready then my nan rang. spent the morning with a friend, then went up to montville and had lunch with my mum :) did some shopping, then had coffee with another friend, then had a family dinner of chinese :) then birthday cake. Went to knect and then came home and a friend stayed over and watched a movie, finally went to bed at 12.30am ! so long day! My phone didnt stop with texts and the phone was always ringing for me which i loved. A friend of mine asked if i felt any different being 18, honeslt not at all! i feel like i have freedom from my parents,and that now everything is on me. People also tend to take you more seriously when you say your 18 rather than 17. Just feel like im getting old!

I am grateful that i passed my anatomy resist :) God is truly paving the path for me through uni, very obvious throughout the year that this is exactly what God wants me to be doing.

I have started to make friends at uni after spending a year trying very hard to not get involved with that party scene and im still not involved however the people there are truly in need of God and its so heartbreaking to hear the way people talk and portray themselves. Just have to keep pressing into the uni, the day is coming i can feel it!

Last day as 17!

my last entry as a 17 year old is quite an exciting one! i look forward to not needing parents signatures any longer for anything! and by law am officially an adult and it is a nice sense of freedom that my parents have no control over me now what so ever! My parents are not Christians and do not agree with my life. So this for me is very exciting! come 6.55 am 14th october 2008 i will be 18. My words of wisdom are simply do not worry about stuff that you have no control over. If you can do something about it then do it. Otherwise dont stress yourself! i have a had a busy week! went to youth camp down the Gold coast which was awesome, and very impacting, i went thinking i was not going to be impacted so greatly by God as much as last year. How wrong was I! i ended up having a vision, and so did someone else about me and now knows things about me that they couldnt possibly have known! and God revealed why i have certain talents of mine which is totally awesome! my entire life before i even knew God he was creating me in every way for his purpose only! so we get back at 3am and i then have to write an essay due the next day! back to uni then back to the Gold coast for shopping and drive in movies! so much fun! then back at 2am and up at 7. My bday lunch and then i slept for 12 hours! much needed sleep! I am so excited for the year ahead, i am determined to make 2009 and me now being 18 the best year ever! i have so many things i want to do. Would love to go to Bible College but do not have the time next year so will have to do short courses!
I am seriously continuely amazed at God and how we just have to think something and God will make it happen! or i say it while praying in tongues!
We do not have long left on earth so we need to keep telling the world about Jesus!
Pray and dont stop praying or praising God for mighty things will be done!

Mother Teresa

The other week i bought the movie Mother Teresa based on her life. It was on sale for $5 so i was pretty stoked not only did i find a bargain but one that could make a difference. Mother Teresa lived 87 years (August 26, 1910 – September 5, 1997) and was born Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu. She founded Missionaries of Charity and served Christ her entire life. She gave and gave. Here are some of her most famous quotes. She is truly an inspiration, i feel connected to her as what she achieved in India and worldwide i have been called to do in Africa. To start with Uganda and South Africa. The movie is very moving and opens your eyes to how she would have lived her life.

"People who love each other fully and truly are the happiest people in the world. They may have little, they may have nothing, but they are happy people. Everything depends on how we love one another."

“If we really want to love we must learn how to forgive."

"Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin"

“Spread love everywhere you go: first of all in your own house. Give love to your children, to your wife or husband, to a next door neighbor... Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness; kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile, kindness in your warm greeting."

If you judge people, you have no time to love them."

” I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love."

“When a poor person dies of hunger, it has not happened because God did not take care of him or her. It has happened because neither you nor I wanted to give that person what he or she needed." –

In this life we cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love." in reference to this. if we continue to do small things with great love, it will eventually amount to something magnificent!

this quote is the essence of what my life will exist on. as a nurse and midwife i have been taught at uni to follow what she says but they dont mention Mother Teresa, i personally rather follow her then uni! here it is. ”Speak tenderly to them. Let there be kindness in your face, in your eyes, in your smile, in the warmth of your greeting. Always have a cheerful smile. Don't only give your care, but give your heart as well."

"It's not how much we give but how much love we put into giving."

Every thing she did was with Love. The world today needs love and compassion. Love is truly the answer to all the earths problems. Just think of a problem and how i t can be solved. love would be the most simple and logical answer. Imagine a world if love did not exist? Just smiling at something is an act of love. I have often heard that a man was walking down the street for the last time and he was going to commit suicide. He goes God i will continue to live if someone notices me. A lady walks by and smiles at him. As a result he does not commit suicide but becomes a Christian. I will try and find out where this is from.
Are you living you life full of love? i am overflowing with love that i need more people to give it too! Ask God what is your calling in life? what is it that your here on earth for at this time in eternity. Give your life to serve Christ and the rest is up to God! Do everything with Love.

Its time

This has been on my heart for while now since my eyes have been opened to what has been happening with todays Young Christians. There are two groups. One group are full on for God they know Jesus personally and know they have a purpose and are looking straight ahead to God. They are living for the cause of Christ. They have given their lives to God. The other group is the young people you believe that God exists and Jesus died for them. Yet they want to enjoy what the world offers them. They still exist in with the other young people who are messing around witht their souls. They indulge is pleasures that they shouldnt and behave and act how they shouldnt. This is happening all around us and gets me quite upset and angry. From what i have seen and heard this is happend everywhere and some of these young people are in leadership and are supposed to be the ones setting an example. People seriously need to open their eyes and get the revelation from God that i have. Time is running out and we need to stand up. Millons have yet to hear about Jesus and it is our responsibility to do this. We need to set thing straight with these young people and make them see the truth and how the devil and their own stupidity and mind has been holding them back from God's purpose for them. After that just let them decide their own fate.

As Christians we need to step up now and go out in our world and pray for God to tell us where and who to go to. Young people need to stop playing around with life and their eternal fate.
Yes you can have fun with life and enjoy yourselves but do it for God and follow Christ and we can see many lives changed and see more souls for heaven. Now is the time. stop procrasinating. Life is too short to muck around we need to stand up if no one else will and lead by example. We need to practice what we preach. If you know someone like what i have mentioned. spend a bit of time with them to reveal the real Jesus to them. If after that let them live their lives, It will get them eventually.
Let us go out into the world and do what God called us to do and be the people God has called us to be.

Today's Generation

Today's generation has grown up in a world full of evil and deceit and just assume that this is the norm behaviour that everyone should abide by. When someone different to them comes along say a Christian they get defensive about their lifestyle and call us the weirdos and that we are not enjoying our lives or living life to the full. Where do they get that idea from? from their parents. Today's youth have grown up in households with parents who grew up with the same morals and beliefs. For the cycle to stop young people today need to stand up and say no to the things that are destroying so many lives around them. This is starting to happen with the likes of teen celebrities wearing purity rings. and many of their fans wanted to follow them. This will be proved in a matter of a few years if we start to see cleaner and more wholesome music videos. The world is starting to realise that it has been destroying itself but it will only get worse before it becomes better. As Christians we need to set an example and be testament that we can live our life to the full and most likely to be happier and have more freedom than non-christians. and when they ask why are we so happy even when bad stuff happens, why do we enjoy life even though we dont drink and sleep around and party all hours of the night. We can simply say we have Jesus. Then the following will come more questions to folllow or they will walk away even if they walk away, they still heard you and it will be in the back of their minds.
My parents believe i havent experienced my youth and adolescence they think ill regret not drinking and partying. I constantly tell them that what is the fun in losing al your inhibitions and not remembering the night before and feeling all sick and gross the next day. Ive been through my party stage when i was 13-15. Then God found me and my life hasnt been the same. Sure you face trials and hard times, especially in the beginning when the devil still has a hold on you. When you break free from the devil and show him that you belong to God and God only. The devil will run away from you and not touch you, the more on fire for God you get the more the devil gets scared. Sure the devil will put temptation and your weaknesses or reminders of your past in front of you. Just ignore it and keep going for God. Dont sway or blink in the devil's direction and you wil feel so much more free. Todays generation is captivated by the devil they indulge in his world in things to get pleasure for a little bit. Children younger and younger are getting caught up in drinking,smoking,sleeping around,trying drugs,swearing,wearing sexy skimpy clothing. In department stores there are bras for 5 and 6 yr olds! what the heck is happening in the world. Sure training bras are fine for 8+ but not 5! it is ridiculous the clothes that are avaliable to 11 yr olds. Mentally we are not fully developed until at least 21. Boys are a little bit later! Bothe mentally and physically inside and out we do not full develop our complete adult bodies until 21-25. Sometimes 18, depends on the individual. Promoting that it is okay for 15yr olds to be having sex and experimenting with different things is just totally absurd. Even 13 yr olds are starting to believe that this is okay. Just because they feel that there bodies are mature, they do not have the mentality to cope and act like an adult. We all know that young teenagers try and act and behave older than they are. Some may be but in the end they are still children. And seeing movies and music videos even the radio that are easily accessible to them is just plain wrong. We need to step up and take a stand in order to protect the children of the world. We need to be apart of childrens lives and steer them in the right direction, when they see us avoiding certain things and not wanting to take part in it all, if we have influence they will follow. It is up to us to change the next generation to try and make this world a better place, to make the devil squirm because he is losing control. Every day is an oppurtunity.

Love this song

here a few of my favourite worship songs. I love Healer, Sing to the Lord. The anthem and where we belong and a few others but there are a few that when i sing them my heart just jumps and i can tend to cry!absolutely love this worship song and would love to know who actually wrote the music and lyrics.

What an awesome God we worship
What a mighty God we serve
Every knee will bow before him
Every tongue confess that he is Lord

Also love

Lift up your eyes all of heavens in worship
Angels rejoice and the clouds will be filled
with the wonder of your name
with the wonder of your name
The train of his robe fills the temple with glory
heavenly hosts fall before him in worship
crying holy holy holy is the lord God almighty

The enemy has been defeated And death couldn't hold You down We're gonna lift our voice in victory We're gonna make Your praises loud
Shout unto God with a voice of triumph
Shout unto God with a voice of praise
Shout unto God with a voice of triumph We lift Your name up We lift Your name up

This is the air I breathe This is the air I breathe Your holy presence living in me
This is my daily bread This is my daily bread Your very word spoken to me
And I, I'm desperate for you And I, I'm I'm lost without you

I am falling to my knees I need You Lord to breathe in me My prayer is still the same My heart is calling out Your name Sweet anointing fill this place I am found in Your embrace Rain down on meRain down on me Here in Your presence I am free Pour down like rain Come and touch me again Lord let Your presence fall on me

Why is murder being legalised?

Psalm 141:8-10 But my eyes are fixed on you o soveriegn lord in you i take refuge- do not give me over to death. Keep me from the snares they have laid for me from the traps set by evildoers. Let the wicked fall into their own nets. while i pass by in safety.

this has me extremely upset and angry. we need to take a stand against this.

This tiny hand of a fetus reaches out from a mother's womb to clasp a surgeon's healing finger. It shows a 21-week-old fetus in its mother's womb, about to undergo a spine operation designed to save it from serious brain damage.

Babies can be born at 22 weeks and survive! this is proven. Here are 3 images of a 12 week old fetus. A fully formed and functional baby at 12 weeks. The other 6 months are spent getting bigger and stronger!

The right to life website reports.

'The Abortion Law Reform Bill 2008 is a radical attempt to legalise abortion in Victoria throughout the entire 9 months of pregnancy, without any real limitation. The Bill was introduced, ironically, by Minister for Early Childhood Development Maxine Morand MP.Section 4 of the Bill mandates abortion on demand up to 24 weeks of pregnancy. We know that babies are now capable of being born alive at 22 weeks. This section therefore declares all abortions, for any reason, can be carried out on babies capable of being alive. No restrictions...'For step by step instructions and ideas on how to write to your local politician regarding this proposal, visit http://www.makeastand.org.au/

Her is a 6-7 weeks old fetus. When most women find out that they are pregnant!

Psalm 22:9-11 Yet you bought me out of the womb, you made me trust in you even at my mother's breast. From birth i was cast upon you from my mother's womb you have been my God. Do not be far from me. For trouble is near and there is no one to help.

Psalm 139.13-14 For you created my inmost being you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because i am fearfully and wonderfull made. I know that full well.

God's timing

we all God has perfect timing but im not a patient person and having God tell me to be patient is difficult and i just have to trust. It is incredible difficult to live fully when you are longing for something and your heart aches, its a feeling i cant describe. All i can resemble it too is having a family away and longing to hold and see them. That is how i feel constantly. I love God with all my heart and soul and knowing that this feeling is here to stay is very difficult but i know God is the God of the impossible!
It is incredibly upsetting to see people without God and to think i used to be one of them. All i can do is be A Christian " Little Christ" in their life and pray they will meet Jesus Christ and encounter God. Just needed to vent!

my mind today

so just want to share something that caught my eye. At the young adult house party last night, chatting with a lovely young lady and she said something that really stuck as a quote with us for the rest of the night. " we are not either, or people. We are both" meaning we do not have to choose we can have both. Granted this depends on the context but the one we used it in was really good! With God we do not have to choose certain things we can have both as we are Christians! I had yet another God talk with mum the other day. She said well im a good person so you dont think i will go to heaven. I said no unless you accept Jesus Christ as Saviour. So she fires back going so the rapists and murderers will. I said if they have now accepted Jesus Christ as saviour then yes. She found this difficult to comprehend. Quite simple really! this is a key factor people find it difficult to understand.
I still cant believe it is September! my 18th is around the corner and then my last year of uni is over and then Christmas and New year! seriously where has 2008 gone? im pretty sure 2009 is going to be one of the best years ever! something that i have been seeing which is really pleasing is that alot of people are coming out from their cliques and little groups and mixing it up a bit! this is definitely needed! Everyday we can make a difference. and if we live in a caccoon how do we do that! i am excited for the future as i know what it holds and what i dont know really gets me excited! For If God has revealed to me parts of my future that are amazing, then what can the parts be that he hasnt! Tomorrow challenge yourself to make a difference, light up someone's day. We do not get to take words or time back. Use them wisely! and in the name of Jesus Christ!

Lauren

This day is the day everyone who has ever loved Lauren says goodbye. At least 400 people are expected to turn up for the funeral. I wish i could personally be there but my heart will be there. My childhood would not have been the same without Lauren. All my memories of Lady Bankes have her in them. Most June and Bill memories also have Lauren in them! remember the good times down the manor football club! ONe memory that sticks to my mind is Tayla's birthday. Jumping castle with us on it. Starts to rain. Jumping Castle becomes way more fun! we are like 12 at this point! playing doctors and sleepovers on schoolnights! how much fun we had. Always smiling and being happy. You were loved by so many and are one of the only people that my my maltese family! Seventeen is way too young to leave this earth, so much to live for. There is obviously a reason and great plan for it or it is one of these tragic events that just happpen. Either way you will be sorely missed. if there is ever a Lady Bankes reunion you will always be apart of it! So my farewell to you Lauren is that i hope that this is not the end and that i will get to see you again! I do not know this for certain but all i can do is hope. My love is always with you and your family. Never will be forgotton.
love always anf forever
Love Sam
xoxoxoxox

today

how warm was it today? taste of summer, can not wait! so i was reading some other blogs and came across a post by James Mcpherson. " like Mark Batterson and expect his next book to be a beauty. Wild Goose Chase is out soon. Here's a cool excerpt:" ... Can I share a personal conviction? I think vision is the cure for sin. One reason many of us get entangled in sin is because we don't have enough God-ordained vision to keep us busy. "The more vision you have, the less you will sin. And the less vision you have, the more you will sin. It is a vision that keeps us playing offense spiritually. "Too often we try to stop sinning by not sinning. That is what psychologists call a double bind. It's sort of like saying, 'Be spontaneous'. You can't be spontaneous now that I've told you to be! The way to stop sinning is not by focusing on not sinning. The way to stop sinning is by getting a God-sized vision that consumes all your time and energy."
How spot on it that! i just thought that was awesome because it is so true. Ive found that in my life, if God gives you a vision theres nothing thats going to stop it! you see it among so many young people who fall or slip up on a regular basis, they don't see their future just the now and present time. Everyone knows the Ghandi quote " be the change that you want to see in the world" well how can you not practice what you preach? say you have a young knect of girls or guys and you tell them not to go here or do that yet you do the exact same thing! parents to this all to well. well its because im an adult or im this old so that is how they justify it. Im not a kid! well that certainly does not work! I've realise that im an example to the world. if Jesus lives in me which we all know that Jesus lives in everyone, than how can we behave and act like people who are consumed in the world's ways? we simply can not. This has been a revelation to me over the past couple of weeks. Although it might be obvious to some. this is what was getting to me but my mind and brain is crystal clear on a lot of things now! I know my future holds something pretty darn special within it! I know i will have the most amazing husband and love of my life ever. and my dream of changing and impacting the world will be more alive than ever! Everyone always wants to change the world, people need to realise you can change the world one person at a time! much more managble that way! Ive always heard these sayings and love them. Someone walking down the street thnks no one notices them and you smile on the way past. It could seriously make their day. Or paying for the next person in line's toll or coffee. a few dollars yet could get them believing that good people do exist. Today's world is so self abosorbed in their onw little world's. Just step out a little bit. Out of your comfort zone. Like Reggie said, you have to change your schedule to change a life!
So pumped for Empire tonight, Tim Hall. Know something great is going to happen! Let this weekend be absolutely amazing! Be Blessed

*sigh*

i can finally let out one big sigh and stop stressing and being angry as i think everything has been delt with! which is good. hopefully nothing will be weird. Lets hope this week will be awesome! Some of my thoughts at the moment.
why my dad cant talk to me like an adult is beyond me. kinda funny that he doesnt know how to communicate at me without shouting!
I really need to study this week........
I should finish the book im reading........
I need to txt some people and catch up with them this week.....
should spend time with me family.....
A lot of people within Churches and i think this is happening everywhere, its seems my generation have a warped view on christianity. I believe and attend church so im all good. Actually no. You can not act like a Christian when in church, we need to live breathe think feel and declare Jesus with everything we do. This unfortuantely is not happening with this age gap, im looking around and seeing this and it does sadden me. I think they need to be given a blunt message of this is how it needs to be. This might be why most of my friends are older!
some good stuff now
Ive met a couple of new people in the past few weeks and i love it! making new friends is totally amazing. just getting to know someone in itself is a journey.
i bought the dvd The azuza street project and its incredible, you can see and feel God throughout the entire documentary. really worth seeing! well there my thoughts for this evening. Hope everyone has the most amazing week!

mmm

"SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO CHANGE YOUR SCHEDULE SO GOD CAN CHANGE SOMEONES LIFE" awesome quote from Reggie last night!

Just thought id share how i am feeling at the moment
totally excited for the future God has in store
Cant wait to be married to the man God has for me and to have an amazing family
Excited for Watoto and me visiting Uganda and South africa. - A passion of mine
am awestruck on how God is working in my life totally incredible
No matter what comes my way i will power through it
My life belongs to Jesus. He gave up his life so that we may live, i think its only fair we give our whole lives to the cause of Christ.
I am ready for anything God sends my way
I am so strong at the moment,emotionally,spiritually and physically. nothing is holding me down.
I am so excited, nervous and challenged at me sharing my testimony, God has the perfect time for this, so im ready when he is!
A few of my passions:
Africa- always a dream and passion of mine. who knew God had placed it there since i was like 5!
Children-
All Animals- Dolphins in particular
Getting Jesus into the University of the Sunshine Coast
Young women- young teenage girls= My testimony
Christmas- Always has and always will be
Dancing- always has and always will be a passion of mine
much more but will update when God adds more!

Reggie

okay so who else thought Reggie Dabbs was absolutely incredible last night! people were crying all over the place which completely surprised me in the fact that i wasnt! proves something in itself if you ask me! He was incredible, you could see God working through him. Totally inspiring and awesome to see. young old in the middle whatever your age people were moved. God was totally working in ways unimagineable. Yesterday was such a good day, with everything going on i was still smiling and upbeat all day, church,lunch,church,coffee with some pretty cool convos in between! full of energy and that had to be God otherwise i would be a total mess. I can feel God holding me up though all of this because i am not letting satan come near me! this week i have assessment on so pray that i will go well! i only having 8 weeks of uni left until my first year is over. How scary is that! well i better go get ready for my human physiology and human anatomy labs! eek i actually should be at lectures this morning but im yet to go to them. hope everyone has a good week!
lots of love
Samantha Suzanne Hawkes

the week that past

i am so thankful for a new week! those close to me will know why! first off something that happened a month ago which i had delt with and moved on comes up and gets blown way out more than necessary. to have me crying hysterically and hyperventilating something had to happen! when people do not believe what you tell them because they have others about your behaviour and believe them over you, that really gets to me. I do not lie especially about the things that they think. When people think you are someone that you certainly are not also irritates me i should not have to prove myself to anyone. Only God. What happened needed to happen in my books. Since that night i am the woman God wanted and needed me to be. So people really need to get over everything and move on. I know God has called me to be a leader and i need to just be me on order to do that. I do not need to behave in a certain way because i already behave like that if if makes any sense! so now ive got that off my chest. I then find out one of my childhood best friends has passed away at 17. I last talk to her sunday and by Monday night she is brain dead. How does this happen? have no idea. I am not able to make it to her funeral so when that is happening i will be saying goodbye over here no matter what is going on. Lauren was a big part of my life and i will never forget her. and to top it all off im getting sick! talk about me being on fire for God or what. You see the devil knows i am such a threat to him that he will doo whatever it takes to budge me off my walk with God but thats not going to happen anymore! it might of in the past but no longer. I am ever so drivin that nothing is going to stop me from achieving what God has in store for me. I know who i am in God and the people that matter should know who i am and trust me enough to believe me and to not look down on me or judge me for one stupid night. This night has made me who God wants me to be and alot of people also believe this as they can see the change within me. I honestly pray for a couple of people who mean the world to me to also see this.

More hurdles!

just as things are totally amazing and going awesome, some stuff happens, always the way. I hadnt cried for like 3 weeks. record for me! and then i loose it in front of people. over something really pathetic. I do not lie and to have people not believe me really gets to me. I am one of the most trustworthy honest people you will find! i was really angry but God took that anger away and im doing better! Seriously Human Anatomy has to be one of the biggest and hardest subjects ever! I am just trusting God in every aspect of my life. I have set boundaries and need to be careful of the choices and decisions i make. People need to have a little more faith in people!

God works in my life today

okay so the past month or so i have been praying for God to help turn me into the women i know he wants me to be to enable me to fulfill what he wants me to do. The past 2 weeks have been incredible i have seen God working in my life so quickly its truly amazing! Ive known what God wants me to do for a long time but knew i was never that person yet, and i finally feel that i am there! Something happened 2 weeks ago that could have really affected me but hasnt, instead as a result of it, i am the person God wants me to be! i was really sick last week but carried on and didnt let anything get in my way. Thats who God wants me to be, i dont let anything stop me from going down the path of God. I cant sleep in anymore because God doesnt let me! I get up and start working towards Gods plan. I can no longer sleep in and watch tv all day on my days off! because a couch potato never help save the world now did it!? I finished A mind to succed and that bought revelation to me so clearly. I am also reading Boundaries at the moment, both books combined i think will really set me straight and make me who i am in God. God truly is working in my life, i just hope that my family isnt go to break down now. As soon as i feel happy and nothing can stop me something always happens! but im determined not to let this affect me. although i know it will. I have to put all my faith and trust into God that my entire life changing is for the better!

This Week

so this week has been a pretty crazy week! something happened over the weekend that had the power to completely set me off track and bring back alot of stuff... but i just full on clung to God and you know what i am actually going better than what i was before! I have been sick with swollen glands all week, while going back to uni for semester 2! like i said crazy! I refused being sick to stop me and now im feeling so much better yet still not 100 % . God is incredible this week could have been a disaster but no it has been amazing! My workload at uni for the next three months is insane! seriously around 30 pieces of assessment due in the space of 12 weeks. You do the math! I am pumped for team impact this week! so excited. I am absolutely loving the new hillsong cd/dvd it is incredible! i have been singing along in my car with a bad throat and loving God. God has given me yet another vision into my future, to do with young women so each day is full of surprises! Empire Uni dinners were great, loved meeting all this new people, all the Germans thought i was 24! pretty funny. Hopefully we shall see them this sunday! Lately i have been praying for God to make me into the women he wants and needs me to be and i have actually seen the transformation this week! seriously nothing is or will stop me on my journey with God. my willpower,courage,confidence and strength has increased greatly so that is pretty darn cool! Wish my family could see all this and know the truth! shall have to keep praying. only God knows when! well i have soooo much uni work to do already so i better go and do that. but if you havent yet bought This is our God. Go and buy it! have a good weekend everyone!

Every woman's dream

Im single and alot of my friends are either,married,engaged or in a relationship and it can be very hard when you see a loved up couple. I have been watching a couple of my favourite tv shows and of course there is always an amazing romance with the romantic love songs to match. Sometimes it is easy to feel alone but when i start to feel like this i think of the man that God has planned for me and i know he is going to be something special. He would be to put up with me! i always wonder who he is and if i have even met him yet, but that is for God to know and me to find out! I have said this before but i want to be married young and then start a family a couple years later. I just have to trust that God will give me the desires of my heart as he knows what i truly want and what is best for me. Today i did some stuff for Empire Uni and as everyone is away at Hillsong the church was practically empty. No one was in the audetorium but me. I got up on the stage and imagined sharing my testimony. God was with me and showed me i have nothing to be scared of. That he will be on one side of me and Jesus the other guiding me through every step. I know i can do it and that gives me some comfort.
Today has been a pretty good day, was at the beach and relaxed in the sun in a bikini in winter! this i find funny as although it is too cold to be in the water people still swim! I am looking forward to summer now i've had a taste of the summer you want it to come around. This week is almost over! time has gone so quickly!

so today

Okay so today, i was reading my bible and God is seriously amazing! the passages i just happened to open upto were exactly what i was struggling with. So i then prayed for God to help and stop the thoughts feelings etc and he has done just that! God never fails to surprise. I love to feel the warmth of Jesus around me it is so incredible! I am so excited to hear everyones stories about Hillsong it should be great. I was so angry last night. I cam across some youtube videos about Mercy Ministries and they were not good. I was so angry at what they were saying and what some of the comments said. I was just like ' How dare you say that!' Mercy ministries is a program close to my heart and it makes me upset to think that the sunshine coast home is closing. But then i know that God has a plan that is bigger and better and that makes me smile. Over the weekend i met some new people and it is so amazing to discover something new about someone that you didnt know. I had the opportunity to share my testinmony, only vaguely though. Even that made me so nervous i felt sick! So imagine what im going to be like when the time comes, which i know is soon and is getting closer. when i think about it i feel so scared that i breakdown crying asking God for strenth,courage and confidence to do it. I know deep down i can do it, and each day it gets easier to. I hope that this week is wondeful for everyone and i pray that God reveals something to you this week!
love sam
xox

Some more thoughts...

For everyone that didnt know i am 17. To many this seems young, however i have always looked,acted and felt older that i was. For example when i 11 and at Disney World there was this ride i was lining up to go on. It was for under 12's, the guy running it said i was too old. I said im 11 and he was argueing with me! He goes no your not your 16! haha i was like nooo told him my birthday and that he could ask my mum. He still didnt believe me! he did ask my mum and then let me on. Another example is when i was 12 we were at surfers and three guys in their 20's were hitting on me. Needless to say my parents were less than impressed!
My life experiences and events in my life have also caused me to grow up quick. I have always had older friends as i tend to get along better with them. I find people my own age very immature and wrapped up in their own lives. Hopefully i can meet people that prove me wrong! The famous saying of it is not how old you are but how old you are at heart. I feel that God has prepared me this way for a reason. I can see myself being married in a matter of years and starting a family soon after. I will be the first to admit i do have childish moments usually when im with Tayla. Who is practically my little sister. I have known her and her brother myles since they were born. Our mums our best friends. She is 11 and we just have so much fun together! I hope to get her to come to 57s one day! pray for her and myles to come to Empire! Life is amazing and i am enjoying every minute of it! Life is a journey and the people that are with you for your journey make it worthwhile. The past few months i have met a some amazing people who i am enjoying getting to know. I can truly say that i see a few of these as lifelong friends. Well this is just an insight into some of my thoughts for the day! I hope everyone has a great week whether at Hillsong or not and i pray that God blesses everyone i know and love in some way this week!
Stay blessed
Sam

My thoughts for the day

so i got my exam results and i did great in three subjects but my hard one i got a supplementary examination. which basically means that i have to sit another exam next week in order to pass the subject! not happy jan! I am just thankful that i didnt fail. I shall be studying hard this week so i pass. Otherwise i am screwed! Lately ive been addicted to youtube and it is quite amazing what people share with the world. So many comments are judgemental and i have been thinking alot about judging people. First impressions and what not. I would love to say that i do not judge people but it is human nature to form opinions on people. I have prayed that i wont make opinions on people until i know them. Most people judge when they do not know. I can proudly say that i no longer judge people that i do not know. If i do not like a person i wont be close friends with them. It is as simple as that to not be mean to people. I think that this is an issue that needs to be addressed. People are so cliquey that they forget to meet new people. During the past few weeks i have met so many new people and it is amazing to learn something about someone that you would never guess was apart of them. For example there is so much of my past that makes you i am at present. I do not tend to share my past with just anyone as it reveals who i really am. Which in a sense makes me feel vulnerable, so i keep this shield up which only a few people have got past. When i feel like i trust someone i open up more and more. As the saying goes you have to be careful who you reveal parts of your soul to. I still can not believe that it is July people! it honestly feels like yesterday it was March, where does the time go? It will be my birthday in three months and then my first year of uni is over! how scary is that! Life just flies by which really does prove that you need to live life to the fullest. The end of the year is my favourite time of year as it is my birthday, uni is finishing so that means holidays. Christmas time! and it brings in the new year a fresh start. I am looking forward to 2009 as 2007 and 2008 has been tough but i am excited for the last few months of 2008. This week everyone is at Hillsong :( i do hope i can afford it for next year. It will indeed be strange to have a friday night! so hopefully i can plan something great!

First Blog

okay so here i am on a cold rainy saturday night, curled up in a nice warm bed with a hot cup of tea at 10.30pm on a saturday night. I am purely writing this blog for myself, however i feel that i am able to give others an insight into my world by doing this and perhaps impact on lives in someway. So here i go. What was ment to be a family dinner tonight turned out to be a major family argument instead. Screaming,shouting, name calling ,threats,and even swearing by various family members took place. On the surface an onlooker would think my family was a loving closeknit unit. Far from the truth. Even my parents pretend that the lack of respect and selfishness in my family is just that. You see my family has only been like this since i was thirteen when i bought something to their attention. Which you will find out at a later date. Tonight i am so grateful for God's grace and i remember that over the past few weeks, God has answered my prayers so obviously and quickly that you wouldnt believe it. I feel God has put some new faces in my life for a reason and i am loving making new friends! There is nothing that beats the feeling of making a whole new friend out of a complete stranger a few months ago! I feel sad at how one of my recently ew friends is going back to canada tomorrow but i know she is going to be a great influence over there as she is a beautiful women of God with an incredible calling on her life. Last night at Empire was so funny, we had fab funky friday with dancing and singing. I feel such a strong calling to Empire Uni and i know that this is where i am supposed to be right now. God has called me to share my testimony and i am preparing that right now so that i will have the right words to honour the glory of God and proclaim everything that he has done for me. I am constantly praying for God to give me the strength and courage to do this as if anyone knows me they know that speaking i front of people declaring my heart and soul is not one easy task! I am so exited for tomorrow as it is sunday which means i get to be at church both morning and night. To see everyone of to Hillsong Conference which will be amazing! I believe that life has many gifts to offer and that God knows which ones to let you open. Just trust God and believe that he knows best. The saying that mum knows best is not true. it Should be God knows best. I want to be a young bride and mother, have a family and fulfill God's calling together, however i knbw that this is most likely not what God has planned for me. Although i do hope so! I am so grateful that God has perfect timing in life, if ever you need a hug and there is no one to hug you ask Jesus to give you a hug and he will! I think that is enough from me for tonight! i hope that everyone has the best july as i plan to do! even though i have to resit an exam! not a happy bunny! love you all, love Sam xox